


Rücklauf Null: Rewind Null

by leggplant



Category: Homura Akemi - Fandom, Madoka Kaname - Fandom, Madoka Magica, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Unvierse, F/F, Fluff, Kaname Madoka - Freeform, LGBT, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Madokami, Minor Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka, Puella Magi Madoka Magica References, Puella Magi Madoka Magica Spoilers, Puella Magi/Witch Pairings, Romance, Teen Romance, madoka kaname - Freeform, pmmm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22475125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leggplant/pseuds/leggplant
Summary: Homura Akemi has made every effort imaginable to prevent her dearest friend Madoka Kaname from making a contract with Kyuubey. But after hearing of Homura's seemingly endless loop of suffering, Madoka takes fate into her own hands by turning Homura back into a normal girl.
Relationships: Akemi Homura & Kaname Madoka, Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka, Akemi Homura/Kaname Madoka/Miki Sayaka/Sakura Kyouko/Tomoe Mami, Kaname Madoka & Miki Sayaka, Kaname Madoka/Sakura Kyouko, Kaname Madoka/Tomoe Mami
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Rücklauf Null: Rewind Null

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING! This fanfiction has major spoilers for Puella Magi Madoka Magica. If you have not finished the anime, this may spoil it for you. Read at your own discretion. 
> 
> Note: I don't speak German. The titles are provided by Google Translate, so they may be incorrect. Blame the American school system for not teaching its students more languages than English.
> 
> Also note: I realize that in japan, the family name comes first. However; I've decided to bypass that as well as any honorifics.

~ _Suffer No More_ ~

Madoka Kaname sobbed underneath her covers. She cradled a teddy bear in her arms, its plush head resting underneath its chin. The girl tightened her grip on the stuffed animal as if doing so would bring her any solace. As expected, the embrace did nothing. Madoka sniffled and shifted. Despite her heavy blankets, she felt horribly cold. Part of her wanted her mother to come barreling into her room and demand that she fess up everything so she could scoop her up, caress her hair, and make everything better. But Madoka knew better. Even if her mother tried her best, the hole in the girl’s heart was there to stay. Madoka wiped her nose on her sleeve. She had no idea that mental anguish could cause physical pain. For a moment, she wondered if there really was a bleeding hole in her chest.

“What are you doing under there?”

Madoka gasped. She feverishly wiped her eyes and lay still, hoping in vain that the familiar voice would recognize her pain and leave her alone. But Kyuubey wriggled his way under the covers. His red eyes glowed in the dark. Madoka threw the covers off of them both and sat up, her gaze cold. Kyuubey stared back with apathy.

“Why are you so upset?” he asked. When Madoka’s frown deepened, he cocked his head. “Well, I guess you’re sad about everything that’s happened. That’s understandable. But is it just general, or is something specific bothering you?”

“I want to be left alone,” the girl firmly replied.

“Why? You always talked with Sayaka, and you usually felt better after that. Telling me what’s on your mind might cheer you up a little bit.”

Madoka shuddered at the image of the otherworldly monstrosity that had erupted from her friend’s soul gem. She shook violently and clapped a hand over her mouth. The screams of the witch that was once Sayaka Miki echoed in her head. 

“Please don’t talk about her,” Madoka whimpered. She took a deep breath. “Why do you care about what makes me feel better anyway? You don’t care about any of us. You never did.”

“True. At least, not in the same way you care about people. I’m just curious as to why you wouldn’t do something to feel better just because it involves me.”

“Are you kidding?” Taking her pillow, the girl slammed it down on Kyuubey, who didn’t even flinch. She struck him again and again. “You’re the reason Mami is dead! You’re the reason Sayaka became a witch! You’re the reason Kyoko died! You’re why Homura has been in Hell for years trying to save us from _you_!”

Kyuubey dodged the pillow and scampered onto the windowsill. Madoka threw it as hard as she could, but he ducked under it. Kyuubey climbed on top of the pillow and sat down, clearly comfortable. 

“I don’t get it,” he said. “Say that a criminal killed someone you loved. It would be silly to blame his mother for making him rather than the killer himself. Sayaka became a witch through her own grief. Mami got careless in that fight. Kyoko didn’t need to fight Sayaka; Homura could’ve done that. And I don’t know exactly what you mean when you were talking about Homura, but I probably didn’t have much to do with that, either. All I did was grant you girls wishes. They chose their fate by making a contract with me. And then they fell on their own terms.”

Madoka scowled. “You didn’t tell us that magical girls would become witches.”

“I didn’t need to. Technically, it’s not an absolute fact since you can die as a magical girl. I warned all of them that they must keep their soul gem clean, and that fighting witches is dangerous. I might understand your hostility if I made them magical girls without their consent, but I gave them that. What more would you want?”

“I want everything undone.” Madoka let the tears drip down her face. “I want my friends back. I want them alive and happy. I want everything to be okay.”

“I can grant that, you know.” Something inside Kyuubey’s eyes glimmered. “You have limitless potential, Madoka.”

“But you said that we use our powers to grant our wishes,” she said miserably. “If I wish for something big, I’ll just use up all my magic and hatch as a witch. Homura told me.”

“Ahh.” Kyuubey jumped from the pillow and into Madoka’s lap. She jerked in surprise, but made no attempt to throw him off. “That’s good thinking. Yes, if you wished for something huge like WalpurgisNacht not existing or reversing all the damage done from your friends here and now, that may be a lot for your soul gem to handle.”

“Homura wished for what you said and she has magic to spare…”

“Homura’s a different case. Time travel is a tricky thing, but it’s not actually as big of a challenge as you humans think it is. That’s part of her power; it’s no different than Mami using one of her guns or Kyoko making her spears. You wishing for things to be undone and go on a different path isn’t time travel. It’s reversing a lot of things in the past, but you yourself wouldn’t go back in time. That is, unless you wished to.”

Madoka shook her head, her vision blurry with tears. “I couldn’t do that,” she whispered. “I’m not strong like Homura is.”

“But think!” said Kyuubey as he paraded around her bed. “You could wish for anything in the universe. And once your soul is too heavily tainted with grief, you’ll give everything back. You’ll produce astounding amounts of entropy. You’ll benefit everybody that way! Isn’t that good?”

“No! If I became a witch, I’d destroy the planet! I’d kill everyone I love! How could the death of billions of people be a good thing!?”

“You humans are so geocentric. There are so many other planets like yours. Granted, they’re not the majority of worlds in the universe, but there are more than you could ever know. Their inhabitants have lived and died. Compared to what’s out there, a few billion people is a handful of sand on an infinite beach. Your potential contribution would reach far beyond one measly solar system. It would touch trillions--quadrillions--of lives.”

“Why?” asked Madoka. “Why would Homura do so much for me if all her effort makes me even more useful to you? Isn’t that selfish?” The girl brought her knees under her chin and cried. “What value do I have to her? I’m not a good person! Why would she sacrifice so much just for me? I don’t deserve that kind of love! I don’t deserve her!”

Kyuubey nuzzled her cheek, but there was only manipulation in the gesture. “Madoka, do you believe in fate?”

“Fate?”

“Yes. The idea that the future can’t be helped.”

She shrugged. “A little, I guess…”

“Homura has told me about her past with you and the others. Her _pasts_ , I should say. There was a clear pattern in them that we both had noticed. Did you know that Homura originally wanted to save all of you from me? She couldn’t succeed with Mami or Kyoko since they made their contracts before the point she ‘resets’ to every time she goes back. But she wanted all of you to survive WalpurgisNacht and to save you and Sayaka from becoming magical girls.

“But in this timeline, Mami and Kyoko have died, and Sayaka has been as a witch. And it was so in the last timeline, and the one before that, and so on, and so on. In all of Homura’s attempts to right the apparent wrongs of reality, she has failed. She has never been able to stop WalpurgisNacht, nor has she ever been accompanied in doing so, I think.”

“So everyone always dies?” Covering her face with her hands, Madoka leaned forward, the imaginary hole in her heart burning with agony. “Everyone? That can’t be right. She told me she’s done this hundreds of times, maybe thousands! There’s got to be one where we’re all okay!”

Kyuubey shook his head. “I only know what she told me. It does seem somewhat improbable, but considering that the future of all magical girls is either hatching as witches or death, I guess it’s not too hard to believe, even if it happens in such a short time. But back to my point. She gave up on the others. Mami, Sayaka, Kyoko… and still, she can’t even save just one person. That’s pretty apparent, don’t you think?”

Madoka hugged her bear again.

“You’re fated to be a powerful magical girl, Madoka.”

“And a horrible witch,” the girl whispered.

“Homura has never been able to stop it. I doubt she ever will. It’s just fate, don’t you think? She’s only prolonging the inevitable. And in those vain attempts, she’s binding you tighter and tighter to fate, making you more powerful.”

The thought of Homura reliving the past month countless times made Madoka’s head spin. To endure such misery and watch it unfold on her friends for years, protecting herself from insanity by locking her emotions away, trying so hard to save her one dearest friend and failing every time… there wasn’t a more apt description of Hell. How Homura had held off the grief for so long was a mystery. She might as well already be trapped in a labyrinth, screaming for eternity. 

And all for her. All for Madoka, who could never deserve such selflessness. It wasn’t fair that Homura had to suffer for her sake. And just as it was up to only Madoka to inevitably save herself from Kyuubey, it was up to her to save her friend as well.

“Kyuubey,” she murmured, “What’ll happen if Homura becomes a witch? How powerful will she be?”

“Homura has essentially lived for years,” replied Kyuubey. “She’s the one cementing your power, but I wouldn’t doubt that in doing it via her own magic, she’s cementing herself as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned out as a witch with devastating abilities. Who knows if she’d be able to destroy the world as easily as you?”

Madoka sat in thought.

“And,” he continued, “no matter how long she keeps it up, your evident fate as a magical girl will remain. You know that you could never let WalpurgisNacht attack Mitakihara. You’d only be able to rely on yourself to stop it.”

“Not if I died…”

“I bet you’ve died plenty of times.” Kyuubey stretched his legs. “Killing yourself wouldn’t do any good.”

Internally, Madoka breathed a sigh of relief. She was too cowardly for suicide.

“If you undo the past, you’d probably hatch immediately. A wish like that requires lots of power. But”--Kyuubey’s scarlet eyes flashed--“you might be able to do something else. Madoka Kaname, I have an idea for a compromise.”

The girl lurched forward, her focus on the window behind her. She held her breath and waited for Kyuubey to dissolve into a red mist from Homura’s bullets. But he didn’t. A chilly silence filled the bedroom. Once Madoka’s eyes met his, Kyuubey turned his body to fully face her.

“You cannot save the others without sacrificing yourself and the rest of humanity,” said Kyuubey. “But you can save Homura. You can stop her from going back in time and living in misery for the rest of time. You can be her hero. As long as you keep your soul gem clean, you’ll be able to live on as a magical girl. A happy ending, right?”

Silence. Slowly, a weight lifted off of Madoka’s chest. Her heart thundered, the hole now gone. She felt strangely light and awake. If her soul gem really carried the power of a god, then surely no amount of grief could ever touch her. Surely she could be as strong as Homura in that regard. 

“Kyuubey,” she said, “I think I know what my wish is.”

  
  


The next day, Homura Akemi awoke as a normal human girl.


End file.
